hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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