She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am naked and annoyed.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
