One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
