So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
