covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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