If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
