The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
only you would photoshop your dick
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
