I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
