Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize