You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
