Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
A+ Viking dick
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