Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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