Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
