we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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