Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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