We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
