my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
