And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
