Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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