There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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