I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
