the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
