nut hugger
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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