Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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