i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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