You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
