I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
