But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
