Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
