Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
