Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
