hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
