none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
