Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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