I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
