Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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