She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
