im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you will always have a special place in my vag
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
