i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
