It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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