Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
