There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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