he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
