Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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