What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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