Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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