I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
