It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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