you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
