I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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