I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
