i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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