hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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