You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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