He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
do nipples grow back?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
