Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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